tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10000891.post5667746582951729769..comments2024-02-21T19:56:57.057-08:00Comments on California Stem Cell Report: "Laundering" PR Advice at $3 Billion California State AgencyDavid Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00077329461962729362noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10000891.post-33830105042873470762008-02-08T10:57:00.000-08:002008-02-08T10:57:00.000-08:00Great story! However, the post is POORLY written. ...Great story! However, the post is POORLY written. Please proof before posting!<BR/><BR/>1. The 2nd para is a disaster. "The firm" should be "The PR agency": like the 1st para's "PR agency." Or the 1st should use "firm."<BR/><BR/>My rewrite:<BR/>"The PR agency is Rubenstein Associates. Its founder, Howard Rubenstein (see photo from the firm) has been described as the, 'godfather of New York PR.' The agency's clients..."<BR/><BR/>2. What is "The group" beginning para 4?<BR/><BR/>3. What is "The watch group" beginning para 5?<BR/><BR/>4. Are either or both "group"s in paras 4 and 5 the same as "one watchdog group" in para 1?<BR/><BR/>Many of your posts I have to read several times. The writing is generally poor. But I eventually figure out most event sequences and purported facts. This one, however, was impenatrable on the finer points and dreadful grammatically.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com